the notebook

'if you're a bird, i'm a bird'

watching this tonight ♥  

lavender hot chocolate

it's been very rainy in brisbane all week and the temperature in our office has been chilly. chilly weather calls for hot chocolate in my books. the other day i stumbled across this lavender hot chocolate recipe. doesn't it look delicious and devine. i wonder what it would taste like. as beautiful as it looks i hope.

2 cups whole milk

3 ounces dark chocolate (70% cocoa)

1 ounce milk chocolate

1/4 teaspoon lavender buds

heat milk and lavender over medium heat, whisking occasionally until the milk begins to simmer. remove from heat and let lavender steep for 5 minutes. strain lavender and return milk to saucepan. over medium heat, add chocolate and mix until chocolate is melted and incorporated. whisk milk mixture for 10 - 20 seconds until frothy. pour into mugs and serve with a dollop of whipped cream. enjoy with loved ones.

you're the

black cats

on another note, i think this photo just completely cheered me up. thank you cup of jo, there is a reason you are one of my all time favourite blogs. happy saturday all.

high expectations

taking a leaf out of beth's book.

no expecting and lots of enjoying.

hard to do but oh so necessary. 

you are loved.

i love these three words strung together. so simple. so true. everyone deserves to be loved. romantically, in friendships and of course by their family. i try to surround myself with people who love me and who i love. i think it's so important. too much time, energy and emotion can be wasted otherwise. beth and i talk about this from time to time. we're both such people pleasers, wanting everyone to like us all of the time, too often going out of way for others. this year however she is putting her own happiness first and she is inspiring me to do the same. it's actually really hard to do, to be selfish when your used to being selfless. to say what you think as opposed to saying what you think others want to hear. conflict has always made me extremely uncomfortable so i am happiest sitting on a little fence, away from the action. i know that it's no way to live though and that people tend to have more respect for those who are strong and say what they mean and mean what they say. i do of course speak my mind in the presence of those i love or who love me, that is the beauty of those close relationships, you are able to be your true self. my best friends will probably tell you i'm too honest at times! so what am i trying to say here? i think i've lost myself! i would also like to point out that i have only had 4 hours sleep so am not in the best frame of mind to be getting into this! a few things... i wish i was more the person that i am with my close friends, so my true self, around everyone. whether i've just met you or if you are mean or nice or indifferent. i wish i didn't go out of my way to be nice to people who i feel deep down don't deserve it. but then again, i think to myself, is that because i don't like conflict or because i am just a nice person who wants there to be good in everyone and everything? and then i come full circle and think, why do i care so much and why do i wish i was a certain way instead of just being who i am, and that is someone who is happy to sit on the sideline and be a little bit of everything to everyone. loud around some, quiet around others, always moulding to other peoples personalities and not letting my own shine. does it all come down to not loving myself in the first place? it is one thing to love and be loved by others but first and foremost i think we should be able to say 'you are loved' to ourselves. i know in my heart of hearts that i am not truly there yet. only when i stop 'wishing' will i know that i love and accept myself for the person i am. that is what i'll be working on in two thousand and twelve, wish me luck! ♥

refreshing rain

it's been a little rainy of late. unlike this photo where i think they have their umbrellas up for sun protection! (has anyone ever done that by the way? not i!) it's been lovely falling asleep and waking up to the sound of rain. certainly a nice change from trying to get ready for work in 30 degree heat! tonight i played touch football and throughout our game there was a light sprinkle of rain. it was so refreshing!

new favourite pastime

i can't stop looking at old photos, especially ones of my parents. i wonder about what my 

mum was like before she was my mum. i do know that she was beautiful. and i wonder 

if my dad was as cool as he looks in old photos. did they dream of having three children 

the way that i do now. maybe one day they will tell me. i also wonder if the world looked

 differently back then, the same way that the photos appear, everything golden and hazy.

there are some downsides to looking back through your parents albums though, such as

learning your mum liked to sun bake topless with all her of friends. harmless but still! or

seeing photos of your dad with another girlfriend. and while i do love looking through old

photos i sometimes feel a sense of sadness and a tinge of jealously as i wish i could have 

been there for it. like the hundreds of hilarious photos of my dad with his sisters and friends

or the time that my mum visited bali. impossible of course but i would have loved to have

been there to see what they were like or see what they've seen. i wonder if they remember 

these photos like they were yesterday, if they know what they were thinking. i'll have to ask. 

perfection

peonies, coffee and bread fresh from the oven. happy saturday. 

domestic goddess

this time last week i was busy being very domestic.

washing, cleaning, vacuuming, organising, grocery shopping.

i had some photos developed, dropped some things to an op shop

and even tried to sign up to the library! i didn't get very far with 

that idea though as the librarian reminded me i have outstanding 

fines from 2006. needless to say i got out of there quick smart!

this weekend is a little more relaxed, less running around. 

i do quite like getting my domestic goddess on though and 

recently i came across an email with some household tips. 

you can keep all of your sheet sets together and looking 

neat by placing them inside the matching pillow case!

breathe

mumma to be

that's me in there!

souls of our cats

tonight i was moving some photos onto our family's hard drive and i came across a folder belonging to me. in it were some early uni assignments, heartfelt yet dramatic post break up letters (aka cringeworthy essays!) to my high school boyfriend and this little poem that i found and printed out (complete with a clip art image of a cat!) when my cat fluffy passed away. i was 16 or 17 at the time and on my school ski trip when it happened. my boyfriend, and the recipient of my essays, had to break the sad news to me when i got home. the poor guy, i was distraught. i loved fluffy so much, she was a beautiful cat and a big part of our family. here she is one christmas day looking highly unimpressed (but still being a good sport!) that we've put a santa hat on her and tinsel around her neck. now we have the crazy, but equally as loveable, coco. we haven't tried anything like this on her yet, we'd have to catch her and pry a gecko from her mouth first!

rest in peace fluffy roney (pus)

once in a lifetime we meet a soul that makes us happy, a soul that we can tell anything, laugh with and hug. a soul that touches your heart, one that is so special that when they leave us, a part of us leaves too and all we can do is cry. but the beautiful yet strange thing is, that these souls are not of our boyfriends or family, they are in fact the souls of our cats.

love jess

have a...

have a carefree, stress free, storm free weekend!

i'll be trying my very best!

today i'm loving...

lychees! and... coral nail polish, forty degree days (not! ok kind of...), heart shaped chocolate cake, birthdays, freshly washed hair, thoughts of fiji, cold water, this ring (kind of harry potter-esque!), running errands, baby names, choosing a daily mood and really loving this blog melk (recognise some images!?).  

never look back

i am always looking back! i love reflecting on happy memories and experiences from my childhood, teenage years or even what happened last week and then sharing these with other people. (just take my blog for example, it's almost all about the past!) but i sometimes tend to dwell on the past in a negative way, wishing i could have done something differently. so this year i am trying to focus on looking forward. onwards and upwards we go! i'm going to stop spending time worrying about the fact that i didn't exercise yesterday or that i've spent too much money on something. instead i'll head out the door then and there and go for a walk or make a more conscious effort to save my pennies. the past has been and gone, no amount of thinking about it can change things, but i can choose to do it differently today, in the present. of course you can not 'never look back' but you can choose what you look back on. i'm hoping to channel my energy into what my future holds. people, places, opportunities, new things. this is just one of my many 2012 resolutions. a little more meaningful than 'grow my hair long'!

travel happy

hi world!

what a busy past few days it has been!

this week i am dreaming about travel.

i'm off to a wedding in fiji in february and i can not wait!

happy wednesday.

happy 40 years!

happy birthday to my beautiful (in and out!) cousin rachael.

i love you lots and hope you had a ridiculously amazing day!

strong is beautiful

today danielle (my lovely manager) and i hosted some of our most frequent flyers at the brisbane international tennis tournament. it was a really wonderful day out of the office. the virgin australia suite was stunning, the food was amazing (i even tried smoked salmon for the first time, and i liked it!), the tennis was exciting and i felt really lucky to be there. there were famous tennis players everywhere. on the court we saw sam stosur and serena williams. in the stands we caught a glimpse of pat rafter (still looking very fit and tanned!). and outside our corporate box we had the players lounge on the right and the players restaurant on the left. i went to the bathroom about ten times hoping to catch a glimpse (and maybe even a photo) of a tennis star. a colleague who was there went to the bathroom to wash off a bird dropping that had landed on his arm only to come back with a photo of himself with pat rafter! he didn't know that it was a lucky occurrence until we told him upon his return! i'm sure he will believe in it now though! the day was made even more enjoyable with some fresh tennis knowledge in my mind, having read andre agassi's autobiography 'open'. in between watching a match i saw (and loved) the new advertising campaign for wta, women's tennis association, titled 'strong is beautiful'. i love advertising in sport, so much so that i used to think it was what i wanted to specialise in while studying and working for queensland rugby union. i now advertise flying instead while still admiring campaigns like this one from a distance. here are the series of ads from 'strong is beautiful'... countries. sugar and spice. serena. kim. ana. victoria. li na. if you are anything like me, you will want to watch each one and then go back and watch it again, oh and you possibly might also want to become a professional tennis player, i know i thought about it. another favourite ad of mine is 'better world' by nike. i hope you enjoy it my fellow sport (and advertising) lovers!

still here!

happy first day of 2012! i've spent most of today walking in the sunshine with my best friends, a wonderful way to start a new year. we have been in newcastle since friday and it's lovely here. i have been itching to blog over the past few days, documenting the last moments of 2011, however have been so busy and also internet access-less. i guess this isn't such a bad thing because it means that instead of being inside in front of a computer, i've been out and about having fun and making the most of my time off. it's also a new years resolution of mine to be on my laptop (and phone, and facebook) less so it's probably a good thing that i've been a little absent, almost like a practice run before the new year! right now i'm in the lobby of our hotel, making the most of the one off free 15 minutes of wireless internet. i have decided to keep blogging throughout this year and i won't put an end date on when i think i'll stop. i'll just keep writing away until i no longer feel like i want to do it, a feeling that hasn't come yet and is why i want to keep going. then there is also the amount of encouragement i have received from my family and friends to continue, knowing how much they get out of coming here every now and then inspires me to keep it up. so that's all i wanted to say... to wish you a happy new year and let you know that i will still be writing in 2012, only possibly less frequently because i will be spending lots of time doing fabulous new things, keeping all of my resolutions and achieving my many goals (some of which include seeing more movies and growing my hair long, really big picture stuff!). i love that today is the start of a brand new year. so many possibilities and experiences and memories await us, we just don't know what yet. i think that's something special, and it applies not only to the start of a new year but to the start of every new day. i came across this quote recently and it resonated with me... 'today is a perfect day for a perfect day.'